Mother of the Bride: Attire Etiquette Q&A

Mom, got a headache from all this dress drama? Before you go shopping for your mother of the bride dresses under $200 ease your mind basic top etiquette tips. Q. What's the dress-buying protocol for moms? A. It's customary for the mother of the bride to purchase her dress first. Her choice was generated to softly stipulate what mom of the future husband will wear. However, this method can be a little old-fashioned, not to mention a little unrealistic. Almost always there is some factor that make abiding by tradition a lost cause. Our advice: Just play it by ear, and try to be flexible. It's not a competition.

tip Most would advise the MOB to avoid dresses in the white, ivory, and a bottle of wine color family. Q. When the mother of the bride buys her dress, is it her duty to then with good grace "inform" the groom's mother? What happens? Q. What are the color restrictions surrounding mom of the bride's dress? A. Traditionally, avoiding dresses in the white, ivory, and a bottle of wine color family (that match the bride's wedding dress), black gowns (that can suggest grieving) and red gowns(or similarly "flashy" shades) is the standard. Though we've seen moms in white who look tailored and elegant. We think black is classic, chic, and formal, and know that even red can be done with gorgeous good taste. The bottom line? Before you start shopping, talk to the bride. She may be very sensitive to the color issue or completely indifferent. If she expresses reservation, think about subdued-but-stately colors in the lavender, silver, burgundy, and blue families. Q. Does mom of the bride's dress color have to match the bridesmaids? A. Some will swear by the "rule" that all the dresses must work well. And some brides really love that matchy-matchy look. But there are countless alternatives. Maybe stay within one color spectrum -- if the bridesmaids dresses are baby blue, for instance, mom of the bride can wear navy. But mixing and matching can be ultra-stylish, too. What's most important, however, is that everyone feels comfortable and beautiful. Q. When it comes to choosing mom of the Bride's dress, how much say does the bride have? A. Definitely consult her on color -- she may have issues with certain shades (white, black, red) or want your dress to complement the bridesmaids' get-ups. She may also have ideas about style, length, and custom. Do try to respect her wishes -- her opinion should count for a lot, and if she wants long masturbator sleeves or if she likes you best in pistachio, what's the harm in obliging? Keep her guidelines in mind while shopping, but the dress you settle on should make you happy, too.